Billy Muldowney

I first saw Billy pitch in the summer of 2004. His arm was electric and had this ridiculous slider that was unhittable. But what I remember most about Billy wasn't the arm. It was the teammate.

He was one of the best teammates I've ever been around. Always picked you up. Always positive. Always made you feel good. He knew what to say when things weren't going your way. The kind of guy who made everyone around him better without trying. I learned how to pitch just watching him compete and hanging in the bullpen together between starts.

We played two summers together and he helped change my game. He was the definition of humble and he was one of those guys everyone was pulling for. I don't think he understands how impactful he was to my career. Thank you, Billy.

In 2008, I was rehabbing in Port St. Lucie, Florida and Billy was playing for the Daytona Cubs. He was throwing well in the Florida State League, one step away from Double-A. We met up after his game, played cards with his teammates in his hotel room, had some pizza, and just talked about life. I didn't know it at the time, but it was just one of those conversations you always remember and much of it had nothing to do with baseball. I knew my playing days were coming to an end at that point, and that conversation helped me prepare for life after baseball.

I really thought Billy had a chance to make it. I was pulling for him. Hoping one day to see him out there living his dream in a big league uniform.

But it didn't happen that way.

That's the strange part about baseball. You become so close with your teammates so quickly, and then it's over. Many times you don't get the chance to say goodbye. Everyone goes back home, and home isn't close to where you are. Staying connected after baseball is hard. It's part of the game, but it's just not easy.

But here's what I know - the same character that made Billy one of the best teammates I ever had is now shaping the next generation of players. His 3 boys and the community he's coaching in are lucky to have him. I hope they know that.

And man, I can't wait to see his kids play someday.

Billy’s JOURNEY

IN THIS FEATURE, BILLY BREAKS DOWN:

Here’s our conversation.

1. You were a true two-way player, how important was that in your development, and what would you tell parents who are pressured to lock their kid into one position?

I was fortunate. Although scouts and coaches mostly saw me as a pitcher first, my parents and I always pushed that off for as long as possible. Whenever asked to join a team or do a showcase, we pushed for me to play as a dual player. I grew up learning all the positions because they're all important to helping the team. There are great lessons learned by succeeding and failing in different spots.

I primarily played the infield but remember playing center field one game and a hard ground ball going through my legs. The field had no fence. It felt like I was running forever as the base runners were circling. Not a good feeling. After the game, my dad (who was an outfielder) said, "Now you know how helpless it feels running after a mistake."

Those situations help you understand that when things go wrong, or a teammate messes up…it's not on purpose. Take a breath. Pick that guy up. Strike the next guy out. Turn a double play. Something.

To parents, I would highly encourage you to find a coach that moves kids around. Challenges them to learn and play various positions. Do not specialize until it's wildly clear that this position is the right path for your kid.

2. You started at Duke and transferred to Pitt where you became the ace. What did that teach you about finding the right fit - and how does that apply to parents choosing teams and programs for their kids?

I should be clear - I really enjoyed my time at Duke. It was a school that was a bit of a dream. Maybe I should blame Christian Laettner for hitting that shot and making such an impression on me.

Duke was the right choice for me coming out of high school. At the time it wasn't the same program it is today, but I liked the idea of being a player who could take the team to the next level. However, being a closer on a team that was rarely ahead and a part-time DH…it didn't align with my belief in myself and what I thought I could contribute. I may have been wrong, but in the end I chose to transfer to Pitt where I earned the spot as Friday night starter and DH.

Kids and parents today have so many options available in terms of teams. It's a bit absurd. I'd focus on finding a program based around development and fundamentals. Practices over games. And definitely not tournament wins.

Daddy ball is real, but not all dad coaches are the same. If you really think your kid deserves to be playing a certain position more or hitting higher in the lineup…talk to the coach. If they're the right coach, they'll give your kid an opportunity. But on the flip side, if you find yourself having these same conversations season after season…take a look in the mirror.

3. Who was the biggest influence on you growing up and how does that shape the way you're raising your boys?

Very emotional question, Steve.

My parents and coaches were the number one influence on me growing up. I say that because my Dad was able to coach me and my brother through high school, so he was both. I also say parents because although my Mom wasn't on the field, she was at every game, every practice, every tryout. And there were times where I definitely chose to ride home with Mom.

In teaching the game, my dad knew that my brother and I had talent. He knew that we could be pushed. He also knew when we needed to be put in our place. My brother and I are different in the way we would react and respond. My dad understood those nuances better than anyone. He is the coach I aspire to be every day. Looking back, everything was "tough…but fair."

I try (and fail sometimes) to understand that my three boys are different. I have to motivate, encourage, and discipline them all differently. It's the same with their teammates. As I try to raise my boys in this game, I'm consistently reminded that 8u, 10u, 12u boys are always changing. It's my job to adapt to them and not the other way around.

4. What do you see in today's youth baseball culture that worries you most?

Too much, too fast. Signing days for 9u travel teams. Parents referencing Gamechanger statistics. Team records of 42-0. There is a lot. I feel a little like the old man saying, "stay off my lawn."

However, baseball is such a long journey. It's a game built on failure; few others are. I believe baseball is one of the best tools we can use to help our kids build character and handle the challenges they will face on their way to becoming productive teenagers and adults.

If we want to focus on anything, it's the off-the-field concepts of team and handling adversity. Find a way to help them love practice, and they will love the game. A way to embrace the challenge…and to not fear seeing or throwing the next pitch.

5. What should kids ages 10-14 actually be focused on? How much of that is character vs. skill?

FUN-damentals and team. Really learn how to enjoy the work and understand the game.

Baseball is awesome in the way that it teaches kids to always be ready. Every ball thrown can have an outcome where they need to understand they could and should be involved. They also need to realize they won't be perfect. No player in this game is perfect.

Understanding that hits as a batter and strikeouts as a pitcher aren't the only way to contribute - to me, that's a character builder. Attitude matters. Realizing that your contributions are for the benefit of the team…matters. Everybody has some level of God-given athletic skill that really can't be changed. However, those players who are able to focus on ways to contribute to the team's success will always have a roster spot.

6. How important is playing multiple sports at a young age - and what does real development look like before high school?

I am a big fan of multiple sports for kids to play for as long as they can. Each sport is unique. They learn different ways to compete. They use their bodies differently, which helps with developing athleticism. In most cases, they are also playing for different coaches, which is important as well.

Real development is teaching kids to learn to love practice and try to recognize the small wins. Where they started, where they are now, and where they can be in the future.

We can't lose sight of the fact that youth and high school sports are, at the core, about developing character and preparing these kids for the adversities they will face in the real world. A small number of kids get to play in college. A much smaller number will go pro. And an infinitely small number will make a career out of playing a game.

The challenges kids face today are much different from the ones we dealt with growing up. However, if we can help them understand there is a pathway through adversity, they have a far better chance at being successful…no matter the situation.

7. You were always the kind of teammate who picked guys up and made everyone around you better. How do you teach that, is that something that can even be taught?

Heck of a compliment, thank you. A great question as well.

I don't think there is a straight answer here. For me, winning was always paramount and with team sports, rarely can one person determine the outcome of a game. There are so many ways you can contribute to the success of the team. A compliment, joke, or handshake can go a long way at the right time.

Some kids are just born with the "glue guy" mentality. But I think in other situations it's more of a learned behavior. I try to help my kids understand they are there to help the team first and foremost. Teammates are like brothers. If you saw your brother upset or struggling, you'd find a way to help them. It's no different.

8. What's one thing you wish more youth coaches understood about how they're shaping these kids - not as players, but as people?

Small victories are big victories. And I'm not talking about actual wins. Celebrate successes with the kids because they may not even realize what they did. It really helps with their confidence, and they will remember whatever it is they did correctly for the next time.

9. When one of your boys is struggling or losing confidence, what does that conversation look like and is it harder when it's your own kid?

Almost always it starts with, "Take a breath." "Look at me…you're fine." Then I will try and get a smile. Usually with kids you can do that pretty quick. From there I try to give them something simple…fix your hat, put your batting glove on again. Something to redirect their thinking. After that, I will try to end with a positive affirmation - "After you strike this kid out…when you hit this next pitch, make sure you do a good turn around first." My Dad used to do that all the time. Pretty sure he stole it from Gene Hackman in Hoosiers. But the goal is to have them imagine a positive outcome and forget about whatever else was going on.

For my own kids? Much tougher. During a game, in some situations, I may send my assistant coach out to talk with them because my presence just won't help. Our coaches have a bit of a system - we all talk to each other's kid during the game because it helps with controlling emotion. From both ends.

On the rides home, I'll try and just be silent. Ask a non-related question. Try and just get them talking as a way to ease into what I really want to talk about. Again, start with a positive, even the smallest one, then have a real discussion.

And if it's a really tough day or they are in one of those moods…ice cream is undefeated.

10. When your boys look back on their baseball experience someday, what do you want them to remember?

When it's all said and done, I want them to look at the field, remember all the time Jess and I were able to spend with them…then I want our boys to smile.

It's funny how time changes perspective. When I look back now, I don't remember my stats or record, my rankings, or projections. But I do remember the teams I played for, the players I played with, and the coaches who taught the game. I remember the 14-hour drive to Notre Dame with my Mom for a showcase. Our State Championship win with my Dad and brother Brian. Seeing Jess, my girlfriend, now wife, in the stands after traveling 14 hours to get to Boise, Idaho. These are the things that invoke my core memories.

Also, as time goes on, I realize how lucky I am to be able to shoot a text or call a teammate I haven't spoken with in a decade. They answer and we jump right back into the way things were 20 years ago. Then you end up answering a few questions for a passion project blog they started. These are the things I try to keep in perspective when trying to teach my kids this game.

MY TAKEAWAY

Billy gave us the truth.

An All-American who threw 95mph with some of the best off-speed pitches around. A legit two-way player before being drafted by the Cubs, but what does he remember most? The drive to Notre Dame with his mother. The State Championship with his father and brother. His girlfriend, now wife Jess, in the stands in Boise, Idaho.

Not his stats. Not his rankings. Not his projections.

He told parents to find programs built on development and fundamentals - practices over games, not tournament wins. And if you find yourself having the same conversations season after season about your kid's playing time…take a look in the mirror.

He reminded coaches that small victories are big victories. That celebrating a kid's success - even one they don't realize yet - builds the kind of confidence that lasts.

He told us that his three boys are all different. That he has to motivate, encourage, and discipline them all differently. It’s his job to adapt to them and not the other way around.

And when one of his boys is having a tough day? Ice cream is undefeated.

When I asked Billy what he wants his boys to remember about youth baseball someday, his answer was perfect:

"I want them to look at the field; remember all the time Jess and I were able to spend with them…Then I want our boys to smile."

Billy, you are doing something right and that's what this is all about.

Help me keep more kids in the game. If you found this helpful, please forward it to another parent or coach.

Thanks for being here. See you next week Inside the Dugout.

-Coach Steve-

Steve Holmes
Founder, Inside the Dugout
2006 MLB Draft | All-American | Youth Coach | Dad